WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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