I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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