just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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