I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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