Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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