Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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