So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
