We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
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Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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