hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cannot find my penis.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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