Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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