I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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