I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
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Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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