dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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