exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
