saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
