I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
