we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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