I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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