He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Operation Purity has been aborted
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
