Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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