Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize