Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize