He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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