if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize