i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
