All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
