you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
