I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just had sex on a roof
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
