you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
