Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
