i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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