Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
