ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
