K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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