so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
