I murdered the dance floor call the cops
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize