Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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