i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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