singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
