Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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