loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
