The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
