We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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