Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!

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  (610): Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!! http://tfl.nu/obvl
  Replies (7) Good night (1380) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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  (734): Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid. http://tfl.nu/qckj
  Replies (33) Good night (764) Bad night (4290)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5702) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake

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  (618): Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake http://tfl.nu/xsco
  Replies (50) Good night (5995) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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  (303): I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer. http://tfl.nu/pliu
  Replies (18) Good night (1528) Bad night (4364)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.

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  (910): she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar. http://tfl.nu/ez5w
  Replies (26) Good night (3757) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

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  (845): They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory. http://tfl.nu/jr9q
  Replies (7) Good night (1211) Bad night (3688)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.

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  (717): Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin. http://tfl.nu/gep5
  Replies (13) Good night (4183) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"

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  (604): You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band" http://tfl.nu/p9bm
  Replies (10) Good night (3634) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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  (225): If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/axif
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (2812)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.

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  (785): A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard. http://tfl.nu/wz0w
  Replies (10) Good night (3025) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.

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  (774): After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs. http://tfl.nu/szq4
  Replies (17) Good night (739) Bad night (3037)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music

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  (+44): could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music http://tfl.nu/hszo
  Replies (7) Good night (2445) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

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  (619): i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door http://tfl.nu/jy3b
  Replies (10) Good night (1995) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

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  (704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx
  Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (628)

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