she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.