Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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  (248): Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"? http://tfl.nu/h596
  Replies (38) Good night (4605) Bad night (2503)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.

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  (614): just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use. http://tfl.nu/fu5v
  Replies (25) Good night (4080) Bad night (1143)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

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  (513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing. http://tfl.nu/rrc8
  Replies (80) Good night (44869) Bad night (1958)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?

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  (678): did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin? http://tfl.nu/67r3
  Replies (29) Good night (4243) Bad night (1091)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.

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  (215): I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart. http://tfl.nu/liah
  Replies (22) Good night (6970) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.

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  (781): picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already. http://tfl.nu/ugv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3773) Bad night (719)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today

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  (780): Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today http://tfl.nu/5plw
  Replies (4) Good night (3331) Bad night (932)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.

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  (313): Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg. http://tfl.nu/ll5x
  Replies (11) Good night (820) Bad night (2856)
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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  (916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm
  Replies (9) Good night (1945) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.

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  (865): I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck. http://tfl.nu/zkmt
  Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (611)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.

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  (215): you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out. http://tfl.nu/raqc
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..

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  (412): I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk.. http://tfl.nu/mdzo
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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  (307): He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver. http://tfl.nu/9q9z
  Replies (10) Good night (1038) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  "Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...

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  (306): "Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning... http://tfl.nu/awmt
  Replies (0) Good night (485) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.

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  (502): So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted. http://tfl.nu/vsby
  Replies (3) Good night (931) Bad night (267)

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