did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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