Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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  (248): he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast. http://tfl.nu/sg9r
  Replies (32) Good night (888) Bad night (6953)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?

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  (330): I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over? http://tfl.nu/p1bn
  Replies (14) Good night (4501) Bad night (933)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME

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  (914): Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME http://tfl.nu/u7n7
  Replies (16) Good night (3999) Bad night (1185)
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  (510): View more from California

  In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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  (510): In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://tfl.nu/8b0c
  Replies (9) Good night (5080) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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  (661): We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila. http://tfl.nu/fos5
  Replies (22) Good night (748) Bad night (3637)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.

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  (301): I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands. http://tfl.nu/945a
  Replies (8) Good night (1581) Bad night (743)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night

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  (907): Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/7a8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1244) Bad night (379)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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  (859): Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay http://tfl.nu/mr5s
  Replies (5) Good night (537) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH

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  (781): I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH http://tfl.nu/y9eb
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (354)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?

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  (724): Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin? http://tfl.nu/jzs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1168) Bad night (544)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

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  (309): We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica. http://tfl.nu/qw7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1364) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  How high are you?

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  (561): Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter. (1-561): How high are you? http://tfl.nu/9cbn
  Replies (18) Good night (855) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

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  (253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y
  Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (237)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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  (856): After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/n5bk
  Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

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  (303): It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address. http://tfl.nu/4jnm
  Replies (6) Good night (342) Bad night (659)

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