i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
