oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.