Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
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Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.