and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
