Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
