Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just tell him i said nine months
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
