Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
