she looked like the before picture.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
