It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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