I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
