lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
