Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
