My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
