Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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