i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
