I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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