You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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