therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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