I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
