this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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