you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My ass is underappreciated
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
