:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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