another moral hangover. fuck.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just invented taco cereal.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
