My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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